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Funny best top Blonde jokes

A blonde was drawing money from ATM, the blonde behind her in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****)."
The first blonde replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! you are wrong, Its 1258"


A blonde called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" He cried.

The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."

A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back seat by mistake."


Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces.
The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.

"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner.

"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?" "Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. A blonde, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is she smiling then?" inquires the Inspector. "Thought she was having her picture taken."


Click here for More blonde Jokes...page 2

(Following few jokes contributed by Ram Varu)

Help, the titanic is going to be drowned! Everybody in the ship is shouting,crying,running or praying to god. Just then an Italian asks the nearby blonde in the ship.
Italian: How far is the land, from here?
Blonde: Two miles.
Italian: Only two miles? Then Why are those fools making noise. I have got the experiance of swimming even more.

The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and comes up to the surface to ask something again.

Italian: Just tell me which side, is land two miles from here?
Blonde : Downwards.


Blonde to Mark: I want to marry you.
Mark: But I am one year elder to you.
Blonde: No problem, then I will marry you next year.


Two blondes went to a pub and after ordering two beers took some sandwiches out of their pocket sandwiches started eating them. " you can't eat your own sandwiches in here" Complained the pub owner.
The two blondes then swapped(Exchange) their sandwiches.


A blonde was very fond of sensational and detective novels, but she always started reading from the middle. A friend of her asked why she did so?
"it's doubly intresting",said the blonde. "to start from the middle keeps one curious not only about its end but also about its begining."


A blonde walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I borrowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I've ever read. There was no story whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!"

The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who took our phone book."


A blonde and a American were taking a stroll when the American suddenly said, "Oh, look at the dead bird."
The blonde looked skyward and said "Where, where?"

Passport Photo coupons, Passport photo deals


A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone  rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked upthe iron and  stuck it to my ear." "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what   happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called back."


A blonde sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are doing.
The bystander,"A Marathon race is going  on.
Blonde : What do they get from that?
Bystander : The winner will get a prize 
Blonde : Then why are the others running?


The doctor told blonde that if she ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, she would loose 34 kilos.
At the end of 300 days, blonde called the doctor to report she had lost the weight, but she had a problem.
"What's the problem?"asked the doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms from home."


Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a blonde were sent to the outer space. The ground control issues commands "Rubi!" "Woof!" (its the barking sound)
"Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!"
"Moti!"
"Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!"
"blonde!" "Woof.""Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"


A blonde is in New York. She is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks her if she wants to buy the  clock on the Tower. Blonde says "Yes".
"Give me a thousand dollars and I'll go get a ladder."
The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the blonde figured she was taken for a ride.
On the next day the blonde is again walking along the same street and the same man asks her to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand dollars and I'll go get a ladder."
The blonde gives her the thousand and says "I am not a fool.This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."


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