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Jokes on Gujarati people (Gujju jokes)
You can read this same first one at http://notableemails.blogspot.com/2014/06/gujju-jokes.html
Gujju Tip 1 : Thepla થેપલા is our bread and Athaanu અથાણું is our butter.
2 : A Gujju may feel tired after 10 mins of Walking,
Gujju Tip 3 : You are a 'pakka' gujju if you have gossiped about someone for hours and then said, "જવા દે આપણું શું! javade aapde shu"
Gujju Tip 4 : "Every Gujju will introduce their spouse as "Aa mara Mrs. Chhe or Aa mara Mr. chhe" !
5 : The World says Save Electricity, Save Water, Save Nature;
ma , Gujjubhai asked a girl, "તમે dance કરશો? (Tame dance karso?)"
gujjus do well in any field.....
5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Mr. Patel.
Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.
2000 people leave the room.
Mr. Patel says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'
Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people
Mr. Patel says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.......... ...
Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.
Mr. Patel says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room..
Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak japanese to leave.
498 people leave the room.
says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of japanese but what do
I have to lose?'
Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak japanese, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'
Mr. Patel turns to the other candidate and says,
Patel is a Gujju-bhai. Patel was bragging to his boss one day,' You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.'
Tired of his boasting,
his boss called his bluff, 'OK, Patel how about Tom Cruise?'
After they leave
Cruise's house, he tells Patel that he thinks Patel's knowing Cruise
was just lucky. 'No, no, just name anyone else,' Patel says.
Well, the boss is much shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Patel who again implores him to name anyone else.
'The Pope,' his
So off they fly
Sure enough, half an hour later Patel emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Patel returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way
to his boss' side, Patel asks him, 'What happened?'
A Patel walks into a bank in
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the man hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked ut very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The Patel replied,
"Where else in
A gujju is going in a taxi and the driver says in despair,"The brake failed. Brake is not working saheb!". Gujju immediately replies, "Stop the meter first"