You can read this same first one at http://notableemails.blogspot.com/2014/06/gujju-jokes.html
Gujju Tip
1 : Thepla થેપલાis our bread and Athaanu અથાણુંis our butter.
Gujju Tip
2 : A Gujju may feel tired after 10 mins of Walking,
But the same Gujju is still energetic after 5 hours of Non Stop Garba
!!
Gujju Tip
3 : You are a 'pakka' gujju if you have gossiped about someone for
hours and then said, "જવા દે આપણું શું! javade
aapde shu"
Gujju Tip
4 : "Every Gujju will introduce their spouse as "Aa mara
Mrs. Chhe or Aa mara Mr. chhe" !
Gujju Tip
5 : The World says Save Electricity, Save Water, Save Nature;
But Gujju says: Sev Puri, Sev Khaman, Sev Gathiya etc.
Ek party
ma , Gujjubhai asked a girl, "તમે dance કરશો? (Tame dance karso?)"
Chokri ubhi thai gayi ane boliછોકરી ખુશીની મારી
ઉભી થઇ ગઈ!
"Haan"
GujjubhaI: "તો આ ખુરશી હું લઇ જાઉં?
Toh aa khursi hun lai jau"?
Why
gujjus do well in any field.....
Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman
for Microsoft Europe.
5000 candidates
assembled in a large room. One candidate is Mr. Patel.
Bill Gates:
Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.
2000 people
leave the room.
Mr. Patel
says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if
I stay. I'll give it a try'
Bill Gates:
Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people
may leave.
2000 people leave the room.
Mr. Patel
says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing
to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.......... ...
Bill Gates:
Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.
500 people leave the room.
Mr. Patel
says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?'
So he stays in the room..
Lastly,
Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak japanese to leave.
498 people
leave the room.
Mr.Patel
says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of japanese but what do
I have to lose?'
So he stays and finds himself with One other candidate. Everyone else
has gone.
Bill Gates
joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who
speak japanese, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together
in that language.'
Calmly,
Mr. Patel turns to the other candidate and says,
`કેમ છો? (Kem chho)?
The other candidate answers
'એકદમ મજામાં! ekdam majaa maa !'
Patel is a Gujju-bhai.
Patel was bragging to his boss one day,' You know, I know everyone
there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.'
Tired of his boasting,
his boss called his bluff, 'OK, Patel how about Tom Cruise?'
'Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.' So Patel
and his boss fly out to
After they leave
Cruise's house, he tells Patel that he thinks Patel's knowing Cruise
was just lucky. 'No, no, just name anyone else,' Patel says.
'President Bush,' his boss quickly retorts.
'Yes,' Patel says, 'I know him, let's fly out to
Well, the boss
is much shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they
leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Patel who
again implores him to name anyone else.
'The Pope,' his
boss replies.
'Sure!' says Patel . 'My folks use to live in
So off they fly
to
Sure enough, half
an hour later Patel emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the
time Patel returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack
and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way
to his boss' side, Patel asks him, 'What happened?'
His boss looks up and says, 'I was doing fine until you and the Pope
came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, who's that man
on the balcony with Patel?
A Patel walks into a bank in
The bank officer
says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so
the man hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce parked on the street
in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to
accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the
Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later,
the man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to
$15.41. The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had
your business, and this transaction has worked ut very nicely, but
we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and
found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us
is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The Patel replied,
"Where else in
A gujju is going
in a taxi and the driver says in despair,"The brake failed. Brake
is not working saheb!". Gujju immediately replies, "Stop
the meter first"