Life As Seen By Computer Professionals

A techie woman writes to the IT Technical support.....

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded fromBoyfriend 5.0toHusband 1.0and I noticed a distinct slowdown in theoverall system performance, particularly in theflowerandjewellery applications, which operated flawlessly underBoyfriend 5.0.

In addition,Husband 1.0uninstalled many other valuable programs, such asRomance 9.5andPersonal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such asNEWS 5.0,MONEY 3.0andESPN 4.1.

Conversation 8.0no longer runs, andHousecleaning 2.6simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried runningNagging 5.3to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

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The IT Help Desk Responds

DEAR Madam,

First, keep in mind,Boyfriend 5.0is anEntertainment Package, whileHusband 1.0is anoperating system.

Please enter command:ithoughtyoulovedme.htmland try to downloadTears 6.2and do not forget to install theGuilt 3.0update.
If that application works as designed,Husband1.0should then automatically run the applicationsJewellery 2.0andFlowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can causeHusband1.0to default toSilence 2.5orBeer 6.1.
Please note thatBeer 6.1is a very bad program that will download theSnoring Loudly (Beta version).

Whatever you do,DO NOTin any circumstances installMother-In-Law 1.0(it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall theBoyfriend 5.0program. These are unsupported applications and will crashHusband 1.0.

In summary,Husband 1.0is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional softwareto improve memory and performance.
We recommend:Cooking 3.0andGood Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!